Memoirs of my Alma Matter (Part 3 of 3)

The symbol of Dominica

The last part of a 3 part series… Here goes…

“The fourth and fifth years in high school I enjoyed the most. During these two years, I got to know my classmates very well, especially those in my science classes. I have really learned to appreciate the friendship of my classmates (although they sometimes seemed that they could care less! Anyway, life’s like that!).”

In the fifth year, there were three really hip fellas in the science classes, the Boyz ‘n the Block: Jim J., Fernandelle B., and I. We became Mrs. Isaacs’ favourite boys (I wouldn’t know about the girls!), and whenever we had any problems, the three of us came together for solutions. This truly, I will not forget. Anything else not mentioned are faded memories. Except two:”

“Lois C.! A very sweet cousin of mine. Which I could give (share) all my problems to. All my secrets. All ‘Bef’ I can come up with. She is very nice to be with, at home or at school. God Bless her for the hospitality she has given me.”

“And last but not least, the last day of school. This was very restless. Before I arrived at school, I met Vernanda, Norma, and Giséle, going to shop for gifts for our teachers. I (being the adventurous type) went along. We arrived back to school about 9:30 AM that day. The last two periods, we had one of the best school leaving ceremonies Grammar School has ever had. Some good features were our modeling, the Play Drama Club, Doctrove’s karate moves, and our teachers’ imitation entitled ‘Guess Who!’”

“The same afternoon (May 7th) we got back together and went into the town to get some ice cream. Then we came back to school to reflect on old times. Some of us were dancing to slow songs. Of course, I was too! I was sitting fooling around with a pair of shades when Vernanda took them of and told me ‘Let’s dance.’ My heart skipped a thousand beats (well, maybe not that much). Why? Because I didn’t know how to dance. Anyhow, when we were dancing, I told her she was the first girl I have danced so close to. And guess what? She did not believe me. I wonder why. Anyhow, I ended up dancing four songs with her, and my! Were they great! I still feel a love for her, but does she? I doubt, my friend, that this is infatuation.”

“These memories may seem to be a lot of bull, but to me they are like silver and gold, for I have no hope of reliving them. See ya!”

“My Personal Glimpses of the Dominica Grammar School. 15th May, 1993.”

So, there it is! Quite embarasing in some places, but I was a kid then. Does this sound anything like your teenage memories (for you ’70′s babies out there)?

PS. – Did you like this story? Good. Now go read Junot Diaz’s “The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao”, you won’t regret it!

T.

Memoirs of my Alma Matter (Part 2 of 3)

My high school, as I remember it!

If you’re reading this second part of my memoir, then, nope, I did not make a mistake when I titled this page. My first post is indeed “Memories of my Alma Matter“; for it is indeed a my memories, but this is as well a memoir. Here is the second part…

“These teachers had an influence on me, in that they all helped my fellow students and I to reach our goal. Mr. Coipel, also, had such an effect, giving me two demerits and one detention, for what? Oh, forget that!”

“Third form in the Grammar School are now faded memories. However, I remember a very important aspect of my life; meeting a girl, which maybe was not the best in other people’s opinion, Giséle E. C. S.. You’ll hear later!”

“The last two years at the Dominica Grammar School were indeed enjoyable. I really discovered my love for these sciences during these years, especially Chemistry.”

“My list of friends grew rapidly. I never really had trouble with my classmates, but sometimes they made me really mad.”

“For example when Lynora F. and Mignon R. ganged up on me, criticizing my closeness with Giséle. However, I take these as jokes now.”

“Jim J. and I grew very close as friends, and his friendship I enjoyed during the past years. The science classes consisted of the best students (contrary to Ms. Isaacs opinions, however), the ‘Untouchables’. We have survived a lot, and I’m sure we can survive the worst. We’ll come back to this, however.”

“Giséle S.. I really met her through one of my classmates in third form, Robert. We began talking to each other, and soon we got very close to each other. It has been said that in love, people tend to deny one’s faults, not so with me. For one, she probably believes that because she has been blessed with money, that everyone else is also. She is also impatient most of the time. She is also known for building very thick walls between people she doesn’t like and herself.”

“Enough of the bad. Like I said, ‘There is a little bit of good in everyone’. Giséle has helped me cope through most difficult times (and persons, like Mr. Paquette). Giséle, has, to some extent, showed appreciation for me but then again, who knows? However, I still love her (yes, even though she’s caught up with Eric!), and I will never forget her.”

“There is another person who has made my stay in the Dominica Grammar School a very enjoyable one. This dude is very cool and caring. Productive, he;s one hell of a guy. Of course, non oter than Fernandelle B. I really got to know him during our last two years of our schooling together. He has what it takes to be a friend, and he has been the best friend I’ve ever had. I hope we remain the best of friends forever. Peace, bro!”

“The teachers of the last two years are as follows:

• Social Studies – Ms. Graham (a teacher who loved to give an essay!) and Mr. Francis (a rather cool guy!)
• Maths – Ms. Jones (a very good and caring maths teacher!)
• English – Mrs. Durand (the most favourite teacher I’ve ever had) and Mrs. (Ma) Harris (the teacher that has been a constant bore to our class!)
• French – Mrs. Nation (a very good and caring teacher, I must say!) and Mrs. Didier (a pain in the neck, man!)
• Chemistry – Mr. Bertrand (a teacher dedicated to his work and his sudents!)
• Physics – Mr. Paquette (man, he was such a pain in the neck our class decided he didn’t know what he was doing!) and Mr. Austrie (a teacher who deserves all the thanks he can get for helping us out greatly. Three cheers!)
• Biology – Ms. Isaacs (a teacher I have grown to like very much not only as a teacher, but a very close friend!)

Ok, another break to this unexpectedly long memoir… Check the last part out soon!

T.

Open letter to my inner demons…

 

Won't you let these guys in?

Admit it, we all have inner demons. Some are pretty easy to deal with, others are just vice related. While some come and go as they please, having a little tea-time and chatting it up with you, others are a bit more difficult to get out the door (or keep out!). As a matter of fact, some stay with you for life; you know, the kind that kick down your door, shotgun in hand, sit in your favourite chair, change the channel you were watching, and then yell at you to “Make me a sandwich, bitch!”. It is to these inner demons that I write this open letter (you know damn well who you are) …

 

Dear (Inner) Demons,

  Throughout the course of this short note, I only want two questions answered…

 

Question #1. Why is it so hard to say “I Love You!”?

From the moment I could comprehend, ’til now, I don’t remember hearing those words from you. Ever. Do you really despise who I am? What I have not become? Did you really want me to become a medical doctor so bad, and do you still want me to make you proud through local newspapers? Don’t answer any of these questions, I don’t ever want to know; I only need an answer to the first…

I have done everything possible to become your hero, but no matter what I do, it’s never enough. I begin to think that it’s a problem with you, not me. That your own mother and father despised YOU so much for becoming something other than what they wanted for you. For being yourself. Hmmm… It’s seems like you have begun the cycle yet again, the cycle of hatred, self-loathing, self-deprecating. You were abused, so you abuse in your own way, and you don’t see that it doesn’t help, not you, not me, not anyone… Do you really get a good nights’ sleep?

On a positive note, I will say that I am not completely scarred for life. I remember what it is like to be loved, and I have people in my life that tell me “I Love you”. And I FEEL loved. So you see, I really don’t need you to say it anymore. But I think you need to hear it for yourself, for everything that you have been through, even before I came into your life. So here goes… I Love You!, despite of yourself, and by virtue of who you are to me… I love you, but I don’t have to, or want to be around you…

Question #2: After all this time, why can’t you be proud of me, despite of who I am?

Ok, so this might be an extension of my first question to you, but, it is an entirely different matter to me. I consider myself to have come very far, despite all the hurdles in my way, including you. I have been triumphant time and time again, and yet it never makes you happy. Graduated from high school with honours, and you tell me that I should become an M.D. I receive my Associates, and still no smile, no nod of approval from you. I continue on to receive my B.S. from one of the best schools on the island, and I get not even a “Good job!” from you. And what about my M.S. degree? Nothing… Ok, well, maybe after I receive my Ph. D., finally you’ll be proud of me…

You know what? Never mind. It’s not worth living my life to please you, because in doing so, I waste time instead of enjoying the real wonders of this life. I have long stopped trying to please you, and started pleasing myself; after all, you can’t please everyone, so please yourself first! Like in question #1 above, I have people in my life who are proud of me, and who accept ME for ME, and not for what they want me to be.

Maybe your parents never told you how proud they are of you, so I’ll tell you… I’m proud of you for what you have done, for surviving life and coming through on the other side alive.

And finally, I’m proud of you, for making me independent…

Sincerely,
T.